One Year Later

It's been a year since our wedding was called off. 

Well, a year and approximately 3 days.

It's been a long, hard year. 

I'd love to tell you that we've worked through our feelings and clung to Jesus and found healing and hope and we are ten times better than we were. 

But this is real life so I'm not going to. 

I don't think we've moved into a space of growth yet. We are still very much in the midst of the feelings of that event. 

We are still wading through the muck.

About a week ago, we got into a pretty ugly argument. A dumb thing just set all those feelings in motion and I just lost it. Yelled, cried, and wasn't really the best version of myself. All the frustration, anger and hurt of the past twelve months just surfaced into something ugly.

I don't like holding things in. I don't like not telling someone how I feel and hoping it will change. It bothers me to keep stuff in. I have been physically ill when I've tried to keep a secret before. It's just not me. I can't pretend and I can't fake it. 

I tried really hard to let things go (when I wasn't ready) and be understanding and patient (when I didn't get it and wanted answers) and it landed me here. I think avoiding those hard conversations and hoping things would change just allowed those hurt feelings to fester. 

That tactic doesn't ever really work. 

At least not in my experience. 

None of this means we haven't had good times or that I haven't seen glimpses of renewal and restoration in our day to day. We've definitely enjoyed some good stretches of time together and I've had days/weeks/months where it felt like maybe, just maybe we could pull out of it. But, what really has been going on is we've taken 3 steps forward and 5 steps back in a seemingly never-ending dance. 

Frankly, it's exhausting. 

I'm just tired. 

So, last week, after a blowout that I'm pretty sure woke the neighborhood followed up by two days of barely speaking, we collectively made the hard decision to take a break from each other. 

No contact for 2 weeks. No texting, no calls, no hanging out, no dating each other or anyone else. Just two weeks for us each to get our bearings, give us a chance to think and figure out if this is something worth trying for. 

We made it about 5 days before one of us broke and called the other. 

The verdict came in.

Nobody wants to give up just yet. 

Despite the current state of us in this relationship, there is a lot of love here. 

This past year we did some counseling but didn't stick with it or really engage in the things they asked us to do. When we decided it wasn't helping us and we didn't care for our counselor we stopped going. We didn't seek out our pastor or any other spiritual guidance. We didn't take a break right when it happened to give us a chance to grieve and heal. I feel like we both just clung to this life raft of ideals- who we thought we were going to be, what our life was going to be like- and continued to be rocked and occasionally submerged beneath the waves. 

We both have made a lot of assumptions about how the other person feels. Some of those assumptions led to actions, or lack thereof in most cases, that continued to dismember our relationship. 

Looking back now, I can clearly see where we went wrong in some places. 

I can also see where we have both been at fault. 

A few things this past year has taught me:

• People who have the capacity to love in a big way also have the capacity to hurt in a big way. It hurts because love exists. It doesn't make it good or bad, it just means that having big love for someone means being vulnerable enough to get hurt too. 
• Sometimes you can say you've forgiven someone but you haven't really 100%. And you might not even realize or understand it. 
• Trust is a very important and very tricky thing in a relationship. It can be there without even trying but the minute it is compromised, it takes everything you have to build it back up.
• Just like a house, you can't fix a cracked foundation with a patch and hope it stays forever. You have to jack the house up and dig up the old foundation to lay a fresh new one. You may have been certain people before but that doesn't mean you are going to exactly be those same people after.
• Just because a love story isn't easy doesn't mean it's not worth it. Don't give up unless you are sure you won't regret it. 

I don't know what will happen with T and I. 

I'd love to predict that a year from now I'll be writing a happy post about marriages and moving in together and starting a life. 

But maybe I won't. 

I hope and pray that with this new month and this new season we can learn to shed the old ways we did things, the old things we said and did, the old hurts we experienced and move on into a relationship that is fresh and new. 

I was talking with a couple of dear friends about the break and the circumstances of what happened and how I just don't get it. How I keep going over everything in my mind and I can't pinpoint what changed. We were so happy. We were so in love. How could it go so wrong?

They looked at me and said that what T and I really need is Jesus. 

We need to stop letting each other be our salvation and look to the only one that can give that to us. Only through that will we learn to be restored within ourselves. I pray that we can cling tight to that hope for restoration.

I pray that we can stop looking to each other as a life raft. 

Rather, look at each other as passengers on the same boat. 

Forget the former things, 

DO NOT DWELL ON THE PAST. 

See, I am doing a new thing!

Now it springs up, do you not perceive it?

I am making a way in the wilderness and streams in the wasteland. 

Isaiah 43:18-19

 

P.S. 

Why share this sad story you ask?

Well, I'm not exactly sure.
I sat down to start writing for BlogHer's NaBloPoMo this month because I saw the word of the month is 'Healing' and I thought it would be fitting for current circumstances. Then I saw all the prompts were about Ferguson and I do not even want to touch that topic, so I'll just stick to what I know. This life of mine. 

Sunday 7 1-26-14

I haven't done a Sunday 7 since October. Eeek.

January is almost over and we are in a new year. So much is changing and so much is the same. Either way, I have things to share. 

1. I feel it's important to mention this first because it's a big deal. I've made a pretty big decision about my future working self and it involves a lot less corporate and a lot more of being my own boss. I don't have all the details figured out yet, but I have made a goal to get out of the corporate rat race by the end of the year. It's going to be a lot of work and a lot of dedication, but I'm ready. It's time. (This article is cheering me on)

2. I've been working out a lot. Trying to get back up to 30 mile weeks and lifting 2-3 times a week. This means I'm spending a lot of time at the Y and getting up early. It's hard getting up in the dark to workout, but every. single. time. I'm glad I did.

3. It's January. For most of us, that means resolutions of some sort. I've been sticking to my 100 day challenge. I've missed 1 day so far and I don't plan on missing any more. It's been a dark winter and I'm still pulling myself out of the muck on a daily basis, but having intention and purpose helps.

4. I've been reading a lot. I have read 3 books so far this month and I'm currently in the process of reading 3 more. I don't know how to read one book at once, I like a variety. I highly recommend 'We Are Water' by Wally Lamb. Next up for me is Elizabeth Gilbert's latest. 

5. Movies. T and I have seen some good movies so far this year. American Hustle on our annual New Year's Day movie date and just this last week we saw Her. It is bizarre and beautiful. I love the cinematography and the story. Before you think it is a weird movie about a guy in love with his phone, go see it. The message is so much deeper. 

Post movie discussions at the brew pub

6. I'm leaving the country. In about 3 weeks I'll be spending a week in El Salvador with a group of people from my church. I'm nervous and excited and nervous and REALLY EXCITED. This is my first trip out of the country and my first mission trip. I also just got my first passport. So. many. firsts. If you think of it, pray for safe travels and open minds. I've had a little bit of weird anxiety dreams about this trip. Thanks friends.

7. Roxy is a senior citizen. My pup turned 8 this week. Which is really 56 in dog years which means she gets early bird specials and discounted movie tickets. Really, she just remains being the best heater/snuggler ever as evidenced by this sleepy Saturday afternoon nap picture. 

What have you been up to lately? Did you make any goals for 2014? How is your progress?

I love mornings. (1/31)

I love mornings.

Snuggling in the sheets, talking and laughing. Hot coffee and a crisp fall breeze. Watching the sun sneak its way over the horizon, exploding into skies of orange and pink. Heading out for a run while the rest of the world sleeps. Enjoying the silence and stillness as the world slowly comes to life.

My new morning view

As a kid, I remember French toast breakfasts at my grandparents. Watching Sesame street and drinking apple juice with my cousins. As I got older, I remember coffee and newspaper reading on Sundays with my dad. Watching the sun rise as I rode the city bus to high school.

As I’ve gotten older, I’ve come to appreciate mornings even more. I get up REALLY early. Usually around 5-6 AM. I like to have a hot drink while I let Roxy do her business. Then it’s exercise of some sort followed up by breakfast and time in The Word. Often, I will be up and doing things at home a good 2-3 hours before I have to go to work. I have never understood people who wake up and leave for work 30 minutes later. I need time for me to ease into my day. I like the feeling of peace and accomplishment that comes with checking things off my to-do list in the AM.

My new spoon from jessicaNdesigns

At the Influence conference, Jeff Goins talked about the Pimsleur approach- the idea that you can make anything a habit or learn anything by spending time doing it 30 minutes a day every day. I’ve written before about my struggles as a writer, mainly about how I procrastinate. I usually put off writing till everything else that is on my to-do list is done. But when is that really? There is always going to be laundry to do, things to tidy and social media to get lost in. I want to be more discerning and intentional about my time, especially when it comes to things that are important to me.

Currently, I’m sitting amongst 10+ Rubbermaid totes and boxes full of my belongings that have yet to be unpacked. I just moved into an apartment that needs painted in every room and I don’t see the point in unpacking everything just to repack it when I’m ready to paint. This is not normal for me. I usually like to move in, unpack and even hang pictures on the wall within the first few days. Instead, I’m learning a little bit about patience and living in the undone.

Recently, I shared some big news in my life. I’ve been struggling with a lot of anger and disappointment. Anger at myself. Anger at other people.  Anger at God.  Angry that my plans just haven’t worked out the way I want them. You’d think at some point in this crazy life I’d learn that everything doesn’t always end up neat and tidy with a bow on top…

I’ve been thinking about what my anger and confusion means in the context of the bigger picture. Aren’t we all allowed free will and handed grace?  I screw up EVERY SINGLE DAY. I make wrong decisions and sometimes hurt people. God doesn’t just abandon me because I’m not perfect. He finds me and brings me back. EVERY SINGLE TIME.

I’ve heard it said, ‘To truly love is to see Christ in another’ (or something like that). I’m not 100% sure what the author of that statement meant. To me, it means that to truly love someone forgiveness and grace are at the forefront. To truly love someone means to see them the way Jesus does- as a child of God- holy. God’s very own possession.

‘But you are not like that, for you are a chosen people. You are royal priests, a holy nation, God’s very own possession.’

During Jessi’s talk at Influence, she said we should read 1 Peter 2:9 every day. To remind ourselves that God’s love is for us. All the time. I think I need to remember it applies to other people too. That every single person in this world is just like me- desperate for hope but learning to rest in the promises of God’s love.

I don’t need to have all the answers and I don’t need everything figured out. I know that God will never leave me and he is always there to scoop me up when life disappoints. I’m learning to love and forgive and leave my pride far behind. This life is messy and crazy and sometimes can seem so confusing and scary. But it’s also wonderful and magical and full of deep, powerful love.

To me, mornings are a reminder that every day is a new opportunity to do right.

To love and forgive.

To cling tightly and dig in.

To gather courage and do all the things (hard and easy) with the ones you can’t live without.

Footnote: These are just my morning thoughts today. I don’t want to write about T and I every day. And I won’t be. In fact, I don’t plan on sharing much more here at the current time. I feel that our life together is personal and tender and just for us right now. That’s not to say I don’t appreciate all your thoughts and prayers. Because I do. I really do. I am so thankful for the way you’ve reached out and checked in and offered loving advice and hugs. Thank you for being supportive and loving. We are truly blessed to have such amazing people in our life- both on and off the internet. xo

Sunday Morning Coming Down

Do you know that Johnny Cash Song?

On a Sunday morning sidewalk,

I'm wishing, Lord, that I was stoned.

'Cause there's something in a Sunday

That makes a body feel alone.

And there's nothing short a' dying

That's half as lonesome as the sound

Of the sleeping city sidewalk

And Sunday morning coming down.

A couple Sundays ago that’s how I felt. Lonesome. Spent. Alone.

I had spent the better part of Saturday afternoon and evening self-medicating.

Despite the cancellation of a joint bachelor/bachelorette party, we awkwardly invited all our friends out to party with us instead. Or perhaps to witness the downward spiral as we laughed and drank and talked and hung out like nothing had changed.  

My old coping mechanisms don’t work anymore.

I woke Sunday morning with a headache that can only be cured with sleep and more sleep. I woke to an upset tummy and a heavy, burdensome heart. It’s funny how the things that you think will make you feel better just end up a temporary fix for a remaining affliction.

I slept intermittently. Getting up once for a painful trip to the grocery store and then only to use the bathroom, get more water and eventually eat my first meal around 3 PM. I had felt better after sleeping till almost 1 PM, but then the weight of recent events kept me stationary. Almost immobile in my grief and anger. I kept trying to sleep more. Forget. Probably in hopes that I would wake up in a different circumstance. To a different life.

Instead, I got up. Showered. Watched some TV and let my mind wander. I went over and over our conversations in my head. Trying to pinpoint where I failed to notice he was no longer next to me.

After a strange conversation Wednesday evening in the town we got engaged in, I had been restless nagging feeling that something just wasn't right. Thursday night he told me he didn't want to get married in November. Or move in together. He’s just not ready.

It was a shock.

I was hurt, angry and confused.

I was up down and all over all weekend. 

I wasn't entirely sure what or how to feel about it.

I still am these things sometimes. 

Sometimes it feels like I have to separate my feelings from my body. Let them float outside of me in order to view the situation subjectively. My heart attached by a string.

We are still in this. Together. Bumbling through feelings and hurts and questions. Staying close. Trying to get back to a place of normal.

Everything has changed and nothing has changed.

I feel the tug. I feel the itch to run. To pack it up, settle my affairs, get my journals and my dog and get in the car and just drive. Start anew somewhere else. Be a new version of me. Reinvent myself once again.

But this time? I know that’s not the answer. I don’t need to reinvent me anymore.

I’m already the me I want to be. 

Right here.

I had two different friends say to me, Have you ever heard that saying ‘Man plans and God laughs’? How true this is for me. I constantly strive. I like knowing where my life is headed and I try very hard to control my path sometimes.

But things don’t always work out the way you plan.

And it can really suck.

I try to ignore that familiar ache to get away- the temptation to just quit being a much easier option it seems. 

But I won’t run away this time.

I’m staying. Digging deep. Listening and empathizing beyond my normal capability. Trying really hard not to blame and be angry. Forgiving.

To me, to love is to love without condition.

I know it deep in my bones that I’m not supposed to flee.

I’m supposed to hunker down and do the hard things.

For just as the heavens are higher than the earth, so my ways are higher than your ways and my thoughts higher than your thoughts.

Isaiah 55:9

I’m learning that despite my best efforts, life is more cyclical than linear. Despite the frustration of seemingly reliving similar disappointments, I’m not giving up hope.

I’m putting my hope in Jesus. 

He alone knows what is in store for me, for T, and for us.

I’m holding fast to the comfort I have come to know so well through prayer and Jesus.

I’m holding fast to friends and family, our community, to support and surround us.

I’m holding fast to the love I have for a man who loves me and just may need a little time.

I’m holding fast to love.

Dear Readers, THANK YOU for being supportive and reaching out when you figured out or inferred via social media that something was up. We appreciate all the heartfelt comments, prayer and support. Sometimes life is messy and we just have to admit it you know? Maybe it's weird to share this much on the blog but I don't know how else to be but to just be real. :)

And to Emily- thank you for sharing your courage in the face of adversity and inspiring me to do the same. 

Puzzles (NaBloPoMo #16)

In an effort to be more intentional about my writing and to really work on strengthening my skills, I'm participating in Blogher's NaBloPoMo for July.
The theme is CONNECT. 
Everyday, I'm going to write based on the prompts and share it here and on Blogher. 

I would love to hear any and all feedback from you.

Steve Jobs said: "You can't connect the dots looking forward; you can only connect them looking backwards. So you have to trust that the dots will somehow connect in your future." Discuss.

Life is all about choices. 
Last week, I talked about how those choices can lead to missed connections.
Often, those missed connections are not misses at all.

At the time, it may seem you made a mistake. Or in the immediate future, you regret the choice you made. It can feel like you did set something in motion you didn't mean to and you end up feeling a little lost.

I got married when I was 23. It was a beautiful fall wedding and I was excited about my future as a wife.
Exactly one year later, I was divorced.
Starting over. Again.
I had my share of failed relationships and I was just sure that I had it figured out this time.
A small argument turned into a realization that I had chose the wrong person.
I went to the lawyer. I filed the paperwork. I said 'I'm done.'

Then I went through a really weird period of time.
I wavered between being sure I made the right decision and wondering if I just ruined my life.
I dated again and feel like I fell into the same pattern of person and got out.

Then, I met T.

When I met him, I didn't know the impact he was going to have on my life.
I didn't know that I had just met my best friend.
I didn't know that 3 years from when we met, he'd be asking me to be his wife.
I didn't know that my life would be irrevocably changed for the better.

When I realized that I was falling in love with T, all those past failed things started to make sense.
Each of those relationships taught my lessons about the kind of partner I wanted to be and the kind of partner I wanted to have.
At the end of each failed relationship, I felt like I had just wasted a lot of time.
Looking back now, I see that each moment 'wasted' just brought me closer to where I was supposed to be.

He's the piece that was missing from my puzzle.

I don't know what the next 5 years holds for me.
I don't even know what the next 5 months holds for me.
I don't know what the final shape of my life will be.

But, I do know, each decision I make now is a line connecting the dots of my future.
And someday, when I'm old and gray, I'll be able to look back and see how everything all fits together.

Can you see how your past decisions have helped shape your future? How do you trust that the dots will connect in the future?

My Main Man (NaBloPoMo #4)

In an effort to be more intentional about my writing and to really work on strengthening my skills, I'm participating in Blogher's NaBloPoMo for July.
The theme is CONNECT. 
Everyday, I'm going to write based on the prompts and share it here and on Blogher. 
I would love to hear any and all feedback from you

This guy is just the coolest.

 He lets me take goofy pictures of him and entertains me with his silly stories and 'Toddisms.'

When I'm having a bad day, he brings me back up. He always knows the right things to say to make me feel better.

If anything happens during the day, good or bad, he's the one I want to tell.

When we met, we had an instant connection. I remember his striped socks and casual attitude. He remembers thinking how smart I sounded in our work meeting.

No matter where we end up in this life, he will always be the person I run to. We'll be getting married in just a few months and I couldn't be happier. I can truly say I'm marrying my best friend.

I love that we can talk about work, the weather, news, sports, music and beer all in the same five minute conversation. We dream big together. We share our fears and insecurities along with our wins because we know that we always have each other's back.

 There is no one in the world I feel closer to and I'm super thankful to have T in my life.

Hope you enjoy this beautiful holiday with those you are closest to.
Happy 4th of July.

#longlivemerica

MAY!!

I felt like this month's recap needed a big title because it was so crazy and busy and fun and beautiful and life-changing....but I couldn't think of anything creative.

So I just went ALL CAPS.
So you know I'm serious.

- Spend time in the word and prayer more.
I kept up with #shereadstruth in May, but I definitely missed a lot of church and small group due to all the out of town trips and races. And also just being exhausted from said trips and races. I realized how important that community is to my spirit. I need to be around people who share my beliefs and remind me of the life I'm called to live- one of service and love to Jesus and my fellow people.

- Stop Overcommitting
I ordered a sweet new planner that I'm absolutely in love with. It feels good to get my calendar back in order. I'm working on being more intentional with my time, but May was NOT the month for that. There was SO MUCH crammed into a short time that I feel like I barely remember it all. Not exactly how I want my summer to go. I'm looking forward to hazy Sunday afternoon bike rides, afternoons at the beach and lots of time relishing in the sunshine with family and friends.

- Get Simple (Fashion & Spending Fast)
Even though I purchased a few things on my out of town trips, I'm going to give this goal a thumbs up. I had planned for spending money in Cincinatti and Colorado so I didn't charge a bunch of stuff. I bought 3 running items at the expo in Cinci which I traded out for old items. In CO, I bought a few brewery t-shirts- which were also exchanged in the rotation with some old concert t's. Normally on an out of town trip, I would hit up an outlet and blow too much money. I tried to be intentional about spending and even ate up all my groceries before going out of town so I wouldn't waste food. I'm not 100% on this goal yet, but I'm definitely on my way.

- Eat (mostly) vegan
The first half of the month was not that great. And I felt it. I was lethargic, tired, puffy and just blah. Before we went to CO, I ate so many dang veggies and decided to start tracking my food again to get back on track. I'm happy to say that by the end of the month, I was back to eating really good whole foods, including green juice daily.

- Give priorities priority (more family, regular volunteering, scheduled writing sessions)
I was out of town a lot in May. But when I was here, I got to spend a ton of time with my family and friends. I wasn't able to volunteer as much as I liked, but it was a busy month. I am trying to have one night a week where I spend doing blog things, but other than that- I'm writing a little every day. But as you can tell from the lack of blog posts...writing here hasn't been happening as much.

-Rest in the big picture.
I spent a LOT of time in May thinking about the big picture. And where I want my life to go. If you missed any of those philosophical ramblings...check them out here and here.

My only goal for May was to ENJOY.
I ran 3 races ( A PR AND a 2nd place group finish!) and took 2 out of town trips...one that brought me back another year older.
It was one heck of a month and I relished every. single. minute. of it.
Even though I SAID I wasn't going to hold myself to many goals...that's just not possible. ACHIEVER is number 3 on my strengthfinders people. It's like a genetic trait, I can't avoid it.

And with birthdays, I always take stock on where my life is headed. And this milestone birthday? Yeah it was definitely one that made me rethink my assumptions about the rules are about work and life. And guess what?

There aren't any.

Seize the day!

Here's a little bit of my May in pictures. Enjoy!

Remember when it snowed in May? yeah I sort of forgot too. 

I spent the night in the Chicago airport. That was fun. 

I got to hang out with my friend Kimberly in Cinci!

Where I ran my fastest 1/2 marathon yet!

We had so much fun running the Flying Pig. 

Plus the metals are pretty cool.

I ran my first relay race with my running buddies!

And...we won 2nd place in our division!! It was awesome. 

And right after the race- my family and friends surprised me with a 30th birthday party...complete with all my favorite candy from my childhood days. Candy cigs & Zotz!

My mom made this amazing montage of pictures from the last 30 years and stuff that came out the year I was born: Hooters and Reading Rainbow....Hmmm.

I got to celebrate my 30th birthday in the biggest way- seeing my favorite band at Red Rocks with my favorite guy and his brother (from another mother)!

We went on a bike and beer tour

Colorado has awesome craft brews!

Also- the mountains. So dang pretty. 

My first MLB game! Go Rockies!

Did I mention the mountains?

Running with the other Nicole in the highest elevation municipality in the US!

Sunshine. And mountains. No filter here. 

And MOUNTAINS. Sky for days. It was really just beautiful the entire time. 

Then we came back to reality. And this girl was happy. 

And I was happy to get this too. Nice kick off to 30. 

I did a 20 days of 20 minutes of yoga challenge. It was so good. 

And I got back to my beloved farmers market. Yaaa for local foods!

And of course, shenanigans with this guy always. 

Man, that was maybe my favorite month of all time.
Except maybe that one epic weekend...It's a toss up.

This is a good life. :)

What have you been up to??

What I've Been Up to Lately: April Recap

I fell off the grid there for awhile.
After I gave up social media for two weeks I'm having a harder time getting back on.
I really liked the quiet.

So instead of some lengthy post about all my April goals met and those not met....I'll give you a high level recap and lots of pictures. :)

- Spend time in the word and prayer more
By far, this has been the easiest thing this year. I love starting my day with She Reads Truth and April was no exception. BTW, if you haven't yet joined- you should. The Hosea devotional is sorta blowing my mind. I'm loving this as part of my spring morning routine.

- Stop Overcommitting.
I have a problem. It is not solved. I honestly can't wait for the 'stress' part of the 7 experiment. I think this part of my life is getting MAJOR overhaul soon.

- Get Simple (fashion and spending fast)
I have not bought any more clothes. In fact, I got rid of MORE stuff. But I haven't been good about spending. I have trips and things coming up so some money has been spent there that normally would not be.  And I bought a couple things at the Flying Pig Expo- but all on sale and very minimal!

- Eat (mostly) vegan
Epic fail in April. So. much. dairy. It also reared it's ugly head on me this weekend and I took stock on how my overdoing it (see 'stop overcommitting') ties in directly with my stress and sugar/cheese level. Backed off a little. I cannot stress to you how much better I feel without dairy. Will I ever learn? Dang cheese.

Loving healthy salads in a jar

So good. And so. bad. 

- Give priorities priority (more family, regular volunteering, scheduled writing sessions)
I am loving not working all the time with taxes. I got to spend a whole day with my nieces and meet my grandparents for dinner. I have been volunteering at the shelter at least once a week and it really does make my heart happy. As for scheduled writing sessions....well I had some friend and family time to make up, but expect more of those in May. After all, it is my birthday month!

- Rest in the big picture
I really should read my goals more than 2x a month. Because I forget this one. A lot. Some days I feel so connected to God and what His plan is and how I fit in and how T and I fit in. Other days- it is the farthest thing from my mind. I'm going to try and start journaling 10 minutes a day again (last year goal!) because I feel like it really made me focus on what is happening in my day and organize my thoughts. This year is one of so much change and growth and I don't want to miss the forest for the trees.

April Goals:
#imoversugar- Eh. Definite work to do. May is a new month.
Finish War & Peace- DONE!! Review to come!
Blanket- Uh...sorry baby Gwen. Hopefully it will stay springy and you won't need this till fall?
RELAX: #restisbest- I did get some resting in. And it was glorious. I'm looking forward to a summer full of rest!

Lots of 1sts this month:

1st Track Workout

1st Patio Dinner this season

1st Bike Ride

1st run in Shorts!

1st Iced Coffee of the Spring

Other April happenings:

It's fun getting your hairs did when you can drink wine.

Salon Hair is always the best

It was still cold enough for a stocking cap most days

My women's work group took a tour of a local farm to learn about CSA's. So cool!

Girls night!

Boston Memorial Run with my Saturday girls

Drake Relays Race!

Patio Happy Hours with this guys

Some silly dog has allergies and needed a vet appointment

Dinner to send off one of our running gals!

We will miss you Deena!

Silly Shenanigans with this guy

My goals for May are super simple:

ENJOY.

I turn 30 this month and I run 3 different races and take 2 out of town trips. I just want to have fun and remember every second of my last days in my 20's and my first in my 30's. 

This is my anthem. Expect to hear more of this. 

What have you been up to?

What's your anthem these days?