7.19.2013

Missed Connections (NaBloPoMo #12, 13, 14)

In an effort to be more intentional about my writing and to really work on strengthening my skills, I'm participating in Blogher's NaBloPoMo for July.
The theme is CONNECT. 
Everyday, I'm going to write based on the prompts and share it here and on Blogher. 

I would love to hear any and all feedback from you.

Do you ever think about what if you chose differently?

Like, what if you said ‘yes’ instead of ‘no’ when that person asked you on date?
What if you went to college out of state versus staying close to home?
What if you took that job instead of the one you did end up taking?

It’s so interesting to me how many decisions we make throughout the day. How many connections we share in one lifetime. I can pinpoint exact moments in my life where my path forked. I went left…but what if I had gone right? What would my life look like today?

When I was in high school, I went half the day to Central Campus. It’s an alternative school for gifted kids. I had started going there my 8th grade year and by 10th grade I was eligible to take college classes during normal school hours and earn applicable credit. Also, by that time, I figured out hanging out with my friends and getting into shenanigans was way more important than silly stuff like studying. I essentially flunked two of my advanced classes, figured out I could graduate a year early (thanks to those advanced classes I did pass) and got out of high school mere weeks after turning 17.

I look back on that time and wonder how differently my life would have turned out had I tried a little harder. Sent in some college applications. Studied a little more and passed those AP classes. Would I have chosen this career path? Or would I have gone away to college and picked something more creative? Maybe I would have traveled to Europe for a semester. I don’t know.
I heard once that one of the kids I grew up doing all the gifted and talented stuff with got a full ride to Brown and is a successful journalist. I don’t know if it’s true. I’ve never really looked into it. I like to believe that it is true and that the life I imagine he has is one that I didn’t chose.

Don’t misunderstand me- I love my life- it’s crazy beautiful. Even though I took the most crooked and most difficult path to get where I am- it’s mine.  I don’t regret connections that I’ve made or decisions that carried me here. If I could do it again would I do it differently? Probably some things. I think everyone would change a few things. At least avoid a few decisions that caused unnecessary heartbreak or hurt.

But when it comes down to it, my path is not just my own making.  

There is a plan for me and it’s always been within my control to just join in.

I think often I get caught up in my own efforts and what I can bring to the table. How can I influence these decisions to work in my favor? Maybe if I work a little longer, network a little more effectively, and push just a little harder- things will magically fall into place in my favor.

How often I forget the path God has laid out for me.

I don’t always know what his plan is and more often than not, I don’t trust it. I say I believe and that ‘His will be done’ but man, if I don’t do everything in my human power to forge my own path. I constantly forget that all things are connected. I am not just the sum of my own parts. I’m made up of my choices, the connections I’ve made and most importantly, the plan God has created for me.

So, all those things I could call ‘missed connections’?
Maybe they were just part of the bigger plan. Those people I didn’t meet, those jobs I didn’t take, that college life I didn’t have- it was all so I could get to where I am now.

Do I have regrets over any connections over the years?
Not really. All the people I’ve met- good and bad- have influenced me into the whole person I am and growing into. Each of those interactions have formed and molded me into me.  

Do I believe all things are connected?
Absolutely.

What missed connections do you still think about? Do you have any regrets about connections you’ve made over the years?



**I rolled  3 days into 1 post. A couple reasons: a) the theme was similar and I had this on my mind b) I needed to catch up. :)