Just a Latte

You guys.

It's already November 20th. Where has the month GONE?

In just a week and a day, I'll be celebrating Thanksgiving with my family. We'll spend the day eating, talking and reflecting on all the abundance we have in our lives.

My family and I were fortunate enough to be born into a country and a circumstance where AIDS barely touches us.

Personally, I don't know a single person living with HIV/AIDS.

Remember the Bible story of the man with leprosy who was healed by Jesus?
History tells us that people with leprosy were treated terribly. They were often ostracized from society and forced to live in 'colonies' separate from everyone else.
They were not given treatment or helped to heal. They were shunned and often considered 'unclean' and filled with sin because of the disease inhabiting their bodies.

Image Source

I think about when HIV was first discovered and how similar the ignorance was (and in some places still is). I think about how people living with HIV/AIDS must feel. I think about how hard it must be to sustain a living and take care of themselves while fighting a terrible disease.
I keep thinking about those ladies in this video.
I think about what it must have been like for them before Heko was able to minister to them.

And then?
I think about how Jesus healed that man with leprosy.
I think about how Heko is healing those beautiful women.
Healing their bodies with treatments, education and healthy nourishment.
Healing their hearts with hope, love and understanding.

Image Source

And then?
I think about how this little campaign I'm doing is making a difference.
I think about the impact MochaClub is having on the people of Africa.
I think about how small sacrifices made my me, my family and my friends are transforming the lives of 25 women.

Image from MochaClub

Would you join me?

On Thursday, November 21st, I'm giving up my daily latte and putting those funds to my purpose project. 

Being the numbers geek that I am, I did the math on this project:

$1000 supports 25 women for a year. 

That's $40 per woman per year. Break that down even further?

It costs less than $4 a month to provide HIV/AIDS health care and education to one women through Heko.

For less than the cost of a latte, I can change a woman's life for an ENTIRE MONTH.

Would you join me in donating $5 to my MochaClub purpose project on Thursday, November 21st?

Little sacrifices. Big Impact.
It doesn't take a lot.
Just a latte.

New Plans for a New Decade

I feel like I sort of left you hanging after my last post.

Sorry ‘bout that.

I just have a lot going on in my head. I have so many thoughts, in fact, that I’m overwhelmed at where to start.

So instead of procrastinating any longer I’m just going to get them out there and try to organize from there. Sound good?

First of all, I had an AH-MAZING time in Colorado. It was just what I needed. What my soul needed. What T and I needed. We spent so much quality time together without work, without deadlines and just doing what we wanted to do when we wanted to do it. We laughed and talked about nothing and everything and just ‘were.’ It really couldn’t have come at a better time.

For 5 full days I was really content. I was eager to get up in the morning and get outside and get exercise and fresh air and then spend my days exploring and enjoying the sunshine. Every night we didn't come back to the hotel until it was bedtime. Then I would lie down and drift off to sleep easily.   

I slept fantastically the entire trip.

Which made coming back so. Much. harder.

The day after we returned, I was at work a total of 20 minutes before I felt that happy light feeling I had dissipate. I felt the heaviness of corporate world demands seep over me like a dark cloud: deadlines and boring emails and demanding people and did I mention boring emails?

What is it about the day after vacation that just feels like it’s sucking your soul dry?

I've worked full time in a corporate setting for almost 12 years. I’m at a spot now where I have a pretty flexible schedule, however, the demands of my job can change quickly. There are very few mundane tasks at my job- most everything requires critical thinking and systematic focus. Most days are filled with meetings and conference calls amid the regular work. It’s a typical corporate job.

Don’t get me wrong- I’m super grateful for all the blessings I've received through having a great paying job and for all the opportunities it’s afforded me. I have always enjoyed the fast pace and variety of tasks that a changing environment can bring. I have great co-workers and have made some lifelong friends through my job.

But 10 years from now?  

I think I want to be doing something different.

Something sort of big-time-dream-not-even-sure-if-I-can-pull-this-off type of different

Last year, at the Influence Conference, Anne Bogel mentioned the 30’s as a time do the ‘editing’ part of your life. The weeding out of parts that just don’t work anymore. The rearranging and polishing of the parts that do. A time for planting positive additions.

I’ve made so many positive changes in the past few years physically, emotionally, spiritually, but career is an area of my life that could use a little more editing that I have given it in the past.

The point is this: I have always wanted to be a writer and own a coffee shop.

I have journals from age 9 talking about how I want be a writer someday. I have a Rubbermaid full of journals and old essays and short stories. I was that kid in 2^nd grade who wrote stories so long on that special lined paper they had to be hung at ceiling level to display properly.

I call myself a writer now- but I’ve never had anything published. I’ve never even tried. I don’t write every day and I don’t read every day. I call this my craft and something I love, but I don’t always give it the attention it deserves. Often, it gets put on the back burner for some other mundane or not needed task or distraction (thanks Internet & Netflix). I’m not sure if that is out of procrastination, fear or both.

I do know this- if you want to get good at something – you have to practice.

You have to try and try and try again.

You have to mess up and start over.

You have to ask for feedback and put yourself out there and accept rejection.

You have to give it a real shot.

You have to say your dreams out loud.

And when you do, they become real.

And it’s going to be scary.

And there is a real possibility that you can fail.

But, you don’t ever want to look back on your life and say ‘What if?’.

To me, a perfect day looks like an early morning run followed up by serving coffee and locally-sourced breakfast to my family and neighbors with love and smiles and conversation as they go about starting their day. Late mornings filled with baking and planning and connecting and community. Afternooons spent writing, reading, gardening, volunteering and cooking. Evenings relaxing at home or watching live music and enjoying local craft brews.

Ahhh. Sounds sort of perfect, right?

I don’t know if that is feasible, but I do have a vision for what I want my life to look like.

And in my head, that vision looks like love and community and words and coffee.

I’m not sure how I’m going to do it, or if it will end up being my exact vision but today?

Today, I’m taking a step.

I’m saying my dreams out loud.

When I started this blog 2 years ago, I wanted to share my thoughts about life and love and the journey we are all on to find that sweet spot of balance in all areas of our being. It’s funny how this little spot on the internet has grown me in ways I didn’t expect. I never thought 2 years ago that I would quit calling my dreams ‘pipe dreams’ or ‘perfect scenarios’ and just start doing. That through reading about other people’s success at attempting their dreams I’d get the courage to bring my dreams to life too.

Since I love a good list and need some kind of plan to make this thing become a reality, I’ve given myself a couple goals to complete this year:

1. Get a barista job (part-time). If I’m going to serve coffee, I better learn all about it right? Also, the extra money can’t hurt.
2. Edit my NaNoWriMo novel and submit it for publishing. Remember last year when I wrote a book? Yeah I’m not sure how I did that in a month either.
3. Write EVERY DAY. Journal, blog, 15 minute write practice- whatever I have time for. Just do it.
4. Find and read 3 books on starting a small business and writing a business plan. This is the boring part of being an entrepreneur- paperwork! But it needs to be done and without being realistic I’m not giving my dream a fair shot.
5. Talk about it. When someone asks what I do, tell them, but also tell them about what I am going to be doing. Something isn’t real and feasible unless you are talking about it and sharing it with others.

I’ve been working on these thoughts for a few days and was sort of wary about sharing them here on the blog. It’s one thing to tell your spouse, your friends, your co-workers about your dream. But to share it with the world? 

I know the minute I share here I’m going to get feedback. Loads of encouragement and love and ‘you can do this!’ type stuff. Which is awesome and amazing and I love those people. 

I’ll also probably get one or two people take me aside and tell me to ‘be realistic’ and ‘think about my future' and all kinds of other dream-crushing type things. 

And to those people I say….

YOLO. 

Go confidently in the direction of your dreams. Live the life you've imagined. 

-Thoreau

What I've Been Up to Lately: April Recap

I fell off the grid there for awhile.
After I gave up social media for two weeks I'm having a harder time getting back on.
I really liked the quiet.

So instead of some lengthy post about all my April goals met and those not met....I'll give you a high level recap and lots of pictures. :)

- Spend time in the word and prayer more
By far, this has been the easiest thing this year. I love starting my day with She Reads Truth and April was no exception. BTW, if you haven't yet joined- you should. The Hosea devotional is sorta blowing my mind. I'm loving this as part of my spring morning routine.

- Stop Overcommitting.
I have a problem. It is not solved. I honestly can't wait for the 'stress' part of the 7 experiment. I think this part of my life is getting MAJOR overhaul soon.

- Get Simple (fashion and spending fast)
I have not bought any more clothes. In fact, I got rid of MORE stuff. But I haven't been good about spending. I have trips and things coming up so some money has been spent there that normally would not be.  And I bought a couple things at the Flying Pig Expo- but all on sale and very minimal!

- Eat (mostly) vegan
Epic fail in April. So. much. dairy. It also reared it's ugly head on me this weekend and I took stock on how my overdoing it (see 'stop overcommitting') ties in directly with my stress and sugar/cheese level. Backed off a little. I cannot stress to you how much better I feel without dairy. Will I ever learn? Dang cheese.

Loving healthy salads in a jar

So good. And so. bad. 

- Give priorities priority (more family, regular volunteering, scheduled writing sessions)
I am loving not working all the time with taxes. I got to spend a whole day with my nieces and meet my grandparents for dinner. I have been volunteering at the shelter at least once a week and it really does make my heart happy. As for scheduled writing sessions....well I had some friend and family time to make up, but expect more of those in May. After all, it is my birthday month!

- Rest in the big picture
I really should read my goals more than 2x a month. Because I forget this one. A lot. Some days I feel so connected to God and what His plan is and how I fit in and how T and I fit in. Other days- it is the farthest thing from my mind. I'm going to try and start journaling 10 minutes a day again (last year goal!) because I feel like it really made me focus on what is happening in my day and organize my thoughts. This year is one of so much change and growth and I don't want to miss the forest for the trees.

April Goals:
#imoversugar- Eh. Definite work to do. May is a new month.
Finish War & Peace- DONE!! Review to come!
Blanket- Uh...sorry baby Gwen. Hopefully it will stay springy and you won't need this till fall?
RELAX: #restisbest- I did get some resting in. And it was glorious. I'm looking forward to a summer full of rest!

Lots of 1sts this month:

1st Track Workout

1st Patio Dinner this season

1st Bike Ride

1st run in Shorts!

1st Iced Coffee of the Spring

Other April happenings:

It's fun getting your hairs did when you can drink wine.

Salon Hair is always the best

It was still cold enough for a stocking cap most days

My women's work group took a tour of a local farm to learn about CSA's. So cool!

Girls night!

Boston Memorial Run with my Saturday girls

Drake Relays Race!

Patio Happy Hours with this guys

Some silly dog has allergies and needed a vet appointment

Dinner to send off one of our running gals!

We will miss you Deena!

Silly Shenanigans with this guy

My goals for May are super simple:

ENJOY.

I turn 30 this month and I run 3 different races and take 2 out of town trips. I just want to have fun and remember every second of my last days in my 20's and my first in my 30's. 

This is my anthem. Expect to hear more of this. 

What have you been up to?

What's your anthem these days?

Lent Reflections

As this Lenten season came to a close, I was struck by the thought of how my simple sacrifice of coffee is supposed to symbolize the incredibly generous gift that God gave to me- His Son's life.

Here I was, complaining and moaning about how much I miss coffee and it's so hard and blah, blah, blah. Meanwhile Jesus willingly allowed himself to be beaten to be a bloody pulp and nailed to cross just so I could even HAVE the luxury of drinking an espresso latte everyday.

I'm sorta disgusted by me.

I'll admit, the first couple weeks, it was all about me. I changed up my morning routine, found a substitute in hot tea and soy chai lattes but still missed that super hot, strong, intense flavor. More than that, I missed the many social events I seem to create around a cup of coffee- girl dates, writing time, downtown walks, etc.
I spent time reading the Bible and tried to focus on the fact I was doing this for a reason, but most of the time I didn't think about Jesus at all.

I didn't think about how my need for coffee was so small, so teeny tiny and so NOTHING compared to the gift I was receiving.
I just thought about how my life would be harder. Or different. Or less convenient.

I could blame my humanness.
I'm a sinner.
Naturally inclined to make everything about ME.

During our Easter Sermon, Pastor Paul said something about how we, as people, find ways to even twist the Gospel around to make it about us. Praising Jesus for the sake of ourselves.

I sort of feel like that sums up my Lent experience.

I didn't feel like I gained a greater connection to God over the course of 40 days.
I actually just found it was a lot easier than I expected to give up coffee.
I didn't need it as much as I thought.

But on Easter Sunday, I got up, put on my tennis shoes and walked my dog to the coffee shop for a big, black coffee.
And guess what? It wasn't as satisfying as I thought it'd be.
I expected to feel this sigh of relief, 'Finally! Coffee!' but it didn't taste any better or worse and I realized, somewhat embarrassingly, it's just coffee.

I think, at the beginning of Lent, I envisioned feeling this big empty space, normally filled with coffee, that would magically be occupied with the Holy Spirit. I mean, obviously! That was the point right? Give something up and free that space for Jesus?

In my first post on the 7 experiment, I talk about that space. About using it for something more spirit-focused and intentional.

I did some of that- changing up my morning routine with daily devotions and praying out loud. I had already been completing morning devotions, however, I began to use that time more deliberately- not rushing and making it a priority.

But what I really learned is this:

A spiritual fast is less about the actual thing you are giving up and more about freeing yourself from anything that distracts you from relationship with Jesus.

No matter what the 'thing' is that you are fasting from, what you are really doing is saying 'I'm going to eliminate a diversion that I have given too much power to.'

And that- I didn't do. I didn't rest in that empty space and just be in relationship with Jesus. I didn't use those cravings to refocus my mind on prayer and meditation. I just found other stuff to occupy the time and fill all the spaces and then praised myself for not drinking coffee for 40 days.

I think there is power in emptiness.
I think there is power in the elimination of stuff in my life.
I think there is power in resting in a specific quiet moment of clarity.

I'm not sure any of this makes sense to you, dear readers, but in my mind I've learned a valuable lesson about what it means to really do without.

It DOESN'T mean exchanging one for thing for another. Or finding a different thing to pass the time of the old thing.

It DOES mean clearing space and leaving that space empty. Wide open. Willing and ready for something bigger than a hot drink.

How was your Lent experience? Do you feel like you really connected in relationship with Jesus or, like me, do you feel like you need a little more practice?

Me: Future Coffee Shop Owner

Two weeks ago, when I went The Influence Conference, I handed out a bazillion business cards.
The organizers suggested we bring cards to share information with all the other ladies we would be meeting and of course, to promote our blogs!

I used my same business cards that I have for everything.
They are nothing fancy.
Vistaprint specials.
They have the basic info, my picture and blog URL.

But do you notice the second line under my name?

'Future Coffee Shop Owner'

Pretty bold claim, right?

Almost every single person, (especially Anne), wanted to know 'What's that about?'
Tell me more...


About two years ago, I decided to network more around town- possibly get involved in some volunteer activities.
My first stop was a local Young Professionals Connection (YPC) happy hour.
It was at a suburban sports bar that I was not a patron of and much to my dismay, I could not encourage or otherwise coerce anyone into going with me.
Instead I 'womaned up' and went solo.
When I arrived, it was a lot of professional-looking YP's with nametags huddled into groups of people they appeared to already be familiar with.
I signed in, stuck a nametag on my chest and ordered a beer for a bit of liquid courage.
Luckily, someone noticed I looked a little overwhelmed and introduced himself.
That guy was Mike Banasiak (now current president of YPC). He asked me where I was from, where I worked, and then said 'So what brings you to YPC?'
I told him some spiel about how I was looking to network- I'd been working for the same company a long time and wanted to expand my professional and social circles. He asked me if I had a business card.

I gave him a blank stare.

I though,t 'Why would I have a business card? What would I put on there? I don't really have a job that requires me to meet with clients or any reason that would require a business card...'

Then Mike said, 'What do you want to do? Obviously you came to YPC because you are looking to network for a reason...so if you could do anything you wanted, what would that be?'

And without a second thought I said:

'I'd own and operate a coffee shop.'

He then asked me a lot of questions about why that was my dream and started introducing me to other people: 'Meet Nicole. She wants to own a coffee shop someday.'

The idea stuck.

There are a few things about me that I believe led to this dream:

• When I was a kid I wanted to own a bookstore. I love to read and I love the feel of being in a bookstore. (Sidenote: do not take me to a bookstore unless you want to lose hours of your life). I think bookstores and coffee shops have a lot of similar features. In fact, most bookstores have coffee shops in them!

• My very first coffee shop experience was in 8th grade with my friend Jane. It was called Java Row (I think) and was located as part of this florist's shop up the street from our school. Once, during an early dismissal, we walked there to hang out. We ordered mint chocolate mocha's to sip on while we gabbed and did homework. I thought it was SO AWESOME. 

• Coffee smells like home to me. My dad and my grandparents are both big coffee drinkers. The smell of percolating coffee conjures up a swirl of great memories: leisurely weekends complete with big, hearty breakfasts; loading up my kiddie mug with sugar and milk so I could hang out with the grownups; strong, hot cups of joe served with after dinner conversation in my grandparents kitchen... The smell literally warms my heart. 

• The atmosphere inside a coffee shops just makes me HAPPY:
• I love the community- the way people rally around causes near and dear to their heart - using the coffee shop as their gathering spot.
• I love the talking- the way people gather and chat about their neighborhood, their day or even just the weather. Coffeeshops are for story telling. I have yet to see another place foster conversation the way a coffee shop does. Something about a hot drink and a slower pace invite casual coming together.
• I love the education- coffee shops always seem to encourage students and lifelong learners. I adore being in a learning environment and am naturally drawn to any place where I can be exposed to something new and different.
• I love the ownership- most coffee shops are locally owned and managed. If you don't know, I'm a pretty big advocate of keeping it local.

• Two years ago, I went to San Francisco to visit my friend Jane. (Another sidenote: just realizing how much she has influenced this coffee dream! She's getting a drink named after her. Or a sandwich. Or both.) In SF, there are coffee shops everywhere. And they are all locally owned. I didn't see one Starbucks the entire time I was there. It was amazing.

• I love people. Seriously LOVE them. I could spend all day just chatting with people and sending them off smiling with a hot (or cold!) drink to accompany their day.

• I have always wanted to own my own business. I'm pretty good with numbers (I mean, I have an accounting degree...) Plus, I've always wanted the freedom to create my own schedule. Once the shop is up and running I suspect I'd still spend most of my time there, but maybe some of that would be in my own booth, storytelling with my customers or writing that novel I've always dreamed of.

I remember one day, not long after I started this blog, I woke up with a hundred ideas in my head about my someday-coffeeshop.
I wrote them all out.
What the name would be and how the sign outside would look.
What kind of ingredients I'd use and what I'd name the drinks.
Where I'd locally source food and supplies.
Where the local art wall would be.
What the interior design would look like, complete with a crudely drawn layout.
I even scouted some real estate.

I can't remember if someone told me or if I read it somewhere, but they said 'If you want to be something, you should introduce yourself that way. Make your dream a reality."

Shortly after waking up with a head full of ideas and a heart sold on a someday-entrepreneurship...I ordered my business cards.

A couple of months ago, one of my favorite local shops came up for sale.
I looked into it briefly. It was affordable, had a strong brand, clientele and a great location.
But I just didn't feel like it would work. Not then.

At Influence, I had the pleasure of attending the session of Barrett Ward, founder of The Mocha Club and fashionABLE.
His session was all about finding your purpose and your passion.

He said this:
Your passion refers to gifts from God.
Your purpose refers to things God has asked you to do.

We went through a series of questions to help determine what that would be.
Questions asking about what we enjoy to do, what we lose track of time doing, what things we value the most, what we are inspired by, what we could not live without.

Some themes emerged for me:
People
Story-telling.
Giving.
Running.
People.
Story-telling.
Healthy habits.
Balance.
Empathy.
People.
Story-telling.

Notice anything?

I'm a story-teller.
Whether I'm chatting with friends over coffee or writing a blog post...I'm telling a story.
I love people.
I like hearing how they became who they are. Who they want to become. I like talking to them about what moves them and what keeps them up at night. I like seeing them happy, thriving and balanced.

 

Story-teller + Lover of all people= Future Coffee Shop Owner

I don't know when I'll own a coffee shop.
The one opportunity I had came and went. (Sidenote- the local shop I was talking about was purchased by an amazing group of people and I frequent it often. You should too- Mars Cafe.)
I'm sure there will be others.
Or maybe my love of people and story-telling will somehow morph into something else down the line and my dream of coffee entrepreneurship will never come to fruition.
Like Barrett said, 'Don't get destination sickness on any road. The process of living out your passion and purpose is ever-evolving.'

So, in the meantime, I do know this.
My God-given calling and talent is clear.
I'm a story-teller.
I'm a lover of people.
AND I'm a writer.
Every single day, I have the ability to share my story and love people right here at Even Me.

So please...
Pull up a chair.
Grab a cup of coffee.
Let's share stories.

Have you discovered your passion and purpose?

How do you share it with others?