Good Fruit (17/31)

I spent the afternoon on a farm doing ‘harvest work.’

Really that work was pulling up tomato and pepper plants and cutting string that down that was supporting them.

The string was tied to a series of metal stakes locked in the ground. Each stake standing about 5 feet tall. AS we were pulling plants and clipping strings, Eric, the farm manager, was telling us how short the tomato plants were this year. They barely grew to half the stake height, about 2 ½ feet at the tallest. He said normally the plants were just as high as the stakes.

I looked at the tomato plants I was pulling up. Many of them were still heavy with produce gone bad from the cold temperatures and I thought, just because something doesn’t grow as big as it should doesn’t mean it can’t bear good fruit.

Those plants produced plenty of tomatoes all summer. They didn’t get the proper heat at the beginning of the summer and not enough water at the end of the season when it was dry and hot, but they still produced fruit. They locked into the soil and they grew what they could.

I think sometimes we are placed in situations in life that are not ideal. Not our dream.

Currently, I’m in a career and a job that I really just don’t like that much. I could give up. I could wither up and die because I can’t reach full potential in this spot.

Or I can dig in and produce fruit. It may not be the best fruit- but its fruit nonetheless.

I never liked the term ‘seasons’. When people say: ‘Oh we’ve just been in this really hard season of life.’ I always thought it sounded sort of cliché and it wasn’t a term I would use. I think that is because I never really understood it.

I can say, without a doubt, I am in a tough season right now with my job. I KNOW this is not what I’m supposed to be doing with my life. I also know that for now, I have to.

It’s a season because at some point it’s going to end and something new is going to begin. Just as the heat of summer fades away and the cool dark days of fall set in, the love affair of me and corporate America is growing cold.

But you know what comes after the dreary, cold days of winter?

Spring.

Light and warmth.

New growth.

Tonight I spent a couple hours at the coffee shop with my upline (fancy business term in network marketing for sponsor) hearing success stories about the business I’m starting.

These people were just like me- in a place in their career that was demanding and unfulfilling, feeling like if they had more time they could do the things they really wanted to do. And then this opportunity came along.

These men and women have not only been able to supplement their income. They’ve been able to:

• Quit a corporate job for their own schedule and more family time
• Enable their spouse to quit a dead-end job for something they really love
• Start a dream business
• Start a nonprofit and use their success to fund a cause they are passionate about

I have never felt so encouraged in my entire life.

THIS is what I’ve been looking for. The perfect vehicle to my BIG dreams- opening the coffee shop, writing, volunteering and being a ‘stay at home’ person.

The best part about this business?

In order to be successful all I have to do is share my story.

I’m a connector innately. I want to meet you and share my dreams and have you tell me about yours. I want to talk about how those dreams can come true. I want to see you succeed. Deep down, I have a lot of love for everyone. Seriously- everyone. I just really love people.

And I cannot WAIT to start sharing the love. This business is just the beginning.

I’ll keep plugging away, day after day, to produce fruit during this time. I’ll dig in and do the hard work.

But I’m really looking forward to the next season.

Two things:

1. I did ZERO editing to these pictures. That's how beautiful the farm was.

2. If you are at all interested in what I'm up to, please email me. I want to tell you about it!! nicmarie17@gmail.com

Go Out and Get Busy

It's ironic that it's taken me so long to write this post about fear and writing ability.
I've been rolling these words around in my head and my heart for weeks.
But something always holds me back from putting my fingers to the keyboard.
Am I scared of success?
Afraid if I really try I won't be any good?

I had coffee with some friends last week, creative types, and we all agreed that we somehow tend to procrastinate when it comes to our passion. We will find 10,000 other things to do besides just sitting down and doing the thing we claim to love.

I find myself doing idle cleaning, straightening or unnecessary email categorizing all before I sit down and write. I put all the 'busy' tasks in front of my craft.

I get a daily writing prompt from The Write Practice. It's a 15-20 minute exercise to improve my writing skills. I signed up at the beginning of the year thinking this would be a way for me to focus more on my writing and expand my skills. Often, I just filter those emails into a folder with the intent of catching up...someday.

Sometimes the prompt doesn't speak to me, but other times it seems it was written specifically for me. A couple of weeks ago, I received a prompt titled 'Why You're Not There Yet, and Why That's Alright,' The author, Kellen Gorbett, had this to say:

A recent trend has become common among writing teachers and writing bloggers and within writing circles that we are writers simply because we choose to write. If you hold a pen in your hand or a keyboard at your desk, you are a writer. While this ideology has proven valuable for creating the identity of a writer, it has also performed a disservice to other professions.

For a commercial airliner to even consider hiring you as a pilot, you’ll need to have logged approximately 3,000 hours of total flight time, including at least 1,500 hours in a multi-jet engine, and at least 1,000 hours as pilot in command of a turbine powered aircraft. These are just the minimum requirements, and anyone that’s ever been up in a single engine plane will tell you that an hour in the air takes much more effort (and money) than an hour at the keyboard.

Consider doctors. After undergraduate school for pre-medicine, there’s the Medical College Admissions Test, then four years of medical school, then 3-5 years of residency. In Malcolm Gladwell’s best-selling book, Outliers, he suggests the key to success in any field is a matter of practicing a specific task for a total of 10,000 hours. Bill Gates spent 10,000 hours programming before graduating high school. The Beatles performed live 1,200 times from 1960-1964 before making it.

I don’t know about you, but I haven’t logged anywhere near that many hours of writing yet. So why do I expect to write like a professional?

Exactly.

I barely write for more than a couple hours a week. Often, the only writing I do is journaling. Or work procedures. Or grocery lists. 

That hardly counts as 'professional.'

I've made it a life goal to someday be a professional writer. To freelance as a career. 

I'm not sure what that really entails except that I want to share my words freely. I want people to come to me and say 'Would you write a piece about {insert subject here} for my blog/newspaper/book/etc?'

I want to have an impact in some way.

To do that is going to take practice and hard work. 

A lot of it.

So why do I constantly self-sabotage?

What is it about actually chasing dreams that is so scary?

Why do we put off the things we most care about and fill the void with stuff that is absolutely meaningless?

Peter Bregman wrote this article** for Harvard Business Review about two lists you should look at every morning.

1- Priorities. The focus list- full of all the things that you are trying to achieve. The things that make you happy.

2- Fluff. The ignore list- stuff that is a time filler but does nothing to help you achieve your goals. 

I've linked to this article multiple times and shared it in my Sunday 7 multiple times. 

However, I constantly choose NOT to heed his advice. 

I've actually added creating these lists to a list of to-dos. 

It's obvious I have a problem with priorities. 

So this morning, at 6 AM, I sat down and made a list. And guess what. It wasn't that hard: 

PRIORITIES

·        People (spouse, family, friends, community)

·        Health (physical- exercise/eating healthy/sleep, mental- me time, spiritual- God: front and center)

·        Work (when at work- do work)

·        WRITING

Look at how easy that was?

The 'Ignore' list was also a no-brainer:

·        TV (netflix marathons anyone?)

·        Social Media (yeah I can cut back)

·        Unnecessary emails (one word: UNSUBSCRIBE)

·        Over Scheduling (empty calendar time is okay)

·        Spending (easiest time waster of all)

·        ‘BUSY’ Tasks (stuff that no one cares about but I somehow make a priority- ie. Reorganizing shelves for fun)

I'm making myself a promise- here and now- to put the things that I matter at the front. 

To take action with my goals and quit waiting for things to happen. 

To quit being scared of my potential. 

To quit wasting time with stuff that doesn't provide a benefit towards achieving the life I want to live.

Inaction breeds doubt and fear. Action breeds confidence and courage. If you want to conquer fear, do not sit home and think about it. Go out and get busy. ~Dale Carnegie

**Thanks to my good friend Erin for sharing this most important article with me. 

New Plans for a New Decade

I feel like I sort of left you hanging after my last post.

Sorry ‘bout that.

I just have a lot going on in my head. I have so many thoughts, in fact, that I’m overwhelmed at where to start.

So instead of procrastinating any longer I’m just going to get them out there and try to organize from there. Sound good?

First of all, I had an AH-MAZING time in Colorado. It was just what I needed. What my soul needed. What T and I needed. We spent so much quality time together without work, without deadlines and just doing what we wanted to do when we wanted to do it. We laughed and talked about nothing and everything and just ‘were.’ It really couldn’t have come at a better time.

For 5 full days I was really content. I was eager to get up in the morning and get outside and get exercise and fresh air and then spend my days exploring and enjoying the sunshine. Every night we didn't come back to the hotel until it was bedtime. Then I would lie down and drift off to sleep easily.   

I slept fantastically the entire trip.

Which made coming back so. Much. harder.

The day after we returned, I was at work a total of 20 minutes before I felt that happy light feeling I had dissipate. I felt the heaviness of corporate world demands seep over me like a dark cloud: deadlines and boring emails and demanding people and did I mention boring emails?

What is it about the day after vacation that just feels like it’s sucking your soul dry?

I've worked full time in a corporate setting for almost 12 years. I’m at a spot now where I have a pretty flexible schedule, however, the demands of my job can change quickly. There are very few mundane tasks at my job- most everything requires critical thinking and systematic focus. Most days are filled with meetings and conference calls amid the regular work. It’s a typical corporate job.

Don’t get me wrong- I’m super grateful for all the blessings I've received through having a great paying job and for all the opportunities it’s afforded me. I have always enjoyed the fast pace and variety of tasks that a changing environment can bring. I have great co-workers and have made some lifelong friends through my job.

But 10 years from now?  

I think I want to be doing something different.

Something sort of big-time-dream-not-even-sure-if-I-can-pull-this-off type of different

Last year, at the Influence Conference, Anne Bogel mentioned the 30’s as a time do the ‘editing’ part of your life. The weeding out of parts that just don’t work anymore. The rearranging and polishing of the parts that do. A time for planting positive additions.

I’ve made so many positive changes in the past few years physically, emotionally, spiritually, but career is an area of my life that could use a little more editing that I have given it in the past.

The point is this: I have always wanted to be a writer and own a coffee shop.

I have journals from age 9 talking about how I want be a writer someday. I have a Rubbermaid full of journals and old essays and short stories. I was that kid in 2^nd grade who wrote stories so long on that special lined paper they had to be hung at ceiling level to display properly.

I call myself a writer now- but I’ve never had anything published. I’ve never even tried. I don’t write every day and I don’t read every day. I call this my craft and something I love, but I don’t always give it the attention it deserves. Often, it gets put on the back burner for some other mundane or not needed task or distraction (thanks Internet & Netflix). I’m not sure if that is out of procrastination, fear or both.

I do know this- if you want to get good at something – you have to practice.

You have to try and try and try again.

You have to mess up and start over.

You have to ask for feedback and put yourself out there and accept rejection.

You have to give it a real shot.

You have to say your dreams out loud.

And when you do, they become real.

And it’s going to be scary.

And there is a real possibility that you can fail.

But, you don’t ever want to look back on your life and say ‘What if?’.

To me, a perfect day looks like an early morning run followed up by serving coffee and locally-sourced breakfast to my family and neighbors with love and smiles and conversation as they go about starting their day. Late mornings filled with baking and planning and connecting and community. Afternooons spent writing, reading, gardening, volunteering and cooking. Evenings relaxing at home or watching live music and enjoying local craft brews.

Ahhh. Sounds sort of perfect, right?

I don’t know if that is feasible, but I do have a vision for what I want my life to look like.

And in my head, that vision looks like love and community and words and coffee.

I’m not sure how I’m going to do it, or if it will end up being my exact vision but today?

Today, I’m taking a step.

I’m saying my dreams out loud.

When I started this blog 2 years ago, I wanted to share my thoughts about life and love and the journey we are all on to find that sweet spot of balance in all areas of our being. It’s funny how this little spot on the internet has grown me in ways I didn’t expect. I never thought 2 years ago that I would quit calling my dreams ‘pipe dreams’ or ‘perfect scenarios’ and just start doing. That through reading about other people’s success at attempting their dreams I’d get the courage to bring my dreams to life too.

Since I love a good list and need some kind of plan to make this thing become a reality, I’ve given myself a couple goals to complete this year:

1. Get a barista job (part-time). If I’m going to serve coffee, I better learn all about it right? Also, the extra money can’t hurt.
2. Edit my NaNoWriMo novel and submit it for publishing. Remember last year when I wrote a book? Yeah I’m not sure how I did that in a month either.
3. Write EVERY DAY. Journal, blog, 15 minute write practice- whatever I have time for. Just do it.
4. Find and read 3 books on starting a small business and writing a business plan. This is the boring part of being an entrepreneur- paperwork! But it needs to be done and without being realistic I’m not giving my dream a fair shot.
5. Talk about it. When someone asks what I do, tell them, but also tell them about what I am going to be doing. Something isn’t real and feasible unless you are talking about it and sharing it with others.

I’ve been working on these thoughts for a few days and was sort of wary about sharing them here on the blog. It’s one thing to tell your spouse, your friends, your co-workers about your dream. But to share it with the world? 

I know the minute I share here I’m going to get feedback. Loads of encouragement and love and ‘you can do this!’ type stuff. Which is awesome and amazing and I love those people. 

I’ll also probably get one or two people take me aside and tell me to ‘be realistic’ and ‘think about my future' and all kinds of other dream-crushing type things. 

And to those people I say….

YOLO. 

Go confidently in the direction of your dreams. Live the life you've imagined. 

-Thoreau

Me: Future Coffee Shop Owner

Two weeks ago, when I went The Influence Conference, I handed out a bazillion business cards.
The organizers suggested we bring cards to share information with all the other ladies we would be meeting and of course, to promote our blogs!

I used my same business cards that I have for everything.
They are nothing fancy.
Vistaprint specials.
They have the basic info, my picture and blog URL.

But do you notice the second line under my name?

'Future Coffee Shop Owner'

Pretty bold claim, right?

Almost every single person, (especially Anne), wanted to know 'What's that about?'
Tell me more...


About two years ago, I decided to network more around town- possibly get involved in some volunteer activities.
My first stop was a local Young Professionals Connection (YPC) happy hour.
It was at a suburban sports bar that I was not a patron of and much to my dismay, I could not encourage or otherwise coerce anyone into going with me.
Instead I 'womaned up' and went solo.
When I arrived, it was a lot of professional-looking YP's with nametags huddled into groups of people they appeared to already be familiar with.
I signed in, stuck a nametag on my chest and ordered a beer for a bit of liquid courage.
Luckily, someone noticed I looked a little overwhelmed and introduced himself.
That guy was Mike Banasiak (now current president of YPC). He asked me where I was from, where I worked, and then said 'So what brings you to YPC?'
I told him some spiel about how I was looking to network- I'd been working for the same company a long time and wanted to expand my professional and social circles. He asked me if I had a business card.

I gave him a blank stare.

I though,t 'Why would I have a business card? What would I put on there? I don't really have a job that requires me to meet with clients or any reason that would require a business card...'

Then Mike said, 'What do you want to do? Obviously you came to YPC because you are looking to network for a reason...so if you could do anything you wanted, what would that be?'

And without a second thought I said:

'I'd own and operate a coffee shop.'

He then asked me a lot of questions about why that was my dream and started introducing me to other people: 'Meet Nicole. She wants to own a coffee shop someday.'

The idea stuck.

There are a few things about me that I believe led to this dream:

• When I was a kid I wanted to own a bookstore. I love to read and I love the feel of being in a bookstore. (Sidenote: do not take me to a bookstore unless you want to lose hours of your life). I think bookstores and coffee shops have a lot of similar features. In fact, most bookstores have coffee shops in them!

• My very first coffee shop experience was in 8th grade with my friend Jane. It was called Java Row (I think) and was located as part of this florist's shop up the street from our school. Once, during an early dismissal, we walked there to hang out. We ordered mint chocolate mocha's to sip on while we gabbed and did homework. I thought it was SO AWESOME. 

• Coffee smells like home to me. My dad and my grandparents are both big coffee drinkers. The smell of percolating coffee conjures up a swirl of great memories: leisurely weekends complete with big, hearty breakfasts; loading up my kiddie mug with sugar and milk so I could hang out with the grownups; strong, hot cups of joe served with after dinner conversation in my grandparents kitchen... The smell literally warms my heart. 

• The atmosphere inside a coffee shops just makes me HAPPY:
• I love the community- the way people rally around causes near and dear to their heart - using the coffee shop as their gathering spot.
• I love the talking- the way people gather and chat about their neighborhood, their day or even just the weather. Coffeeshops are for story telling. I have yet to see another place foster conversation the way a coffee shop does. Something about a hot drink and a slower pace invite casual coming together.
• I love the education- coffee shops always seem to encourage students and lifelong learners. I adore being in a learning environment and am naturally drawn to any place where I can be exposed to something new and different.
• I love the ownership- most coffee shops are locally owned and managed. If you don't know, I'm a pretty big advocate of keeping it local.

• Two years ago, I went to San Francisco to visit my friend Jane. (Another sidenote: just realizing how much she has influenced this coffee dream! She's getting a drink named after her. Or a sandwich. Or both.) In SF, there are coffee shops everywhere. And they are all locally owned. I didn't see one Starbucks the entire time I was there. It was amazing.

• I love people. Seriously LOVE them. I could spend all day just chatting with people and sending them off smiling with a hot (or cold!) drink to accompany their day.

• I have always wanted to own my own business. I'm pretty good with numbers (I mean, I have an accounting degree...) Plus, I've always wanted the freedom to create my own schedule. Once the shop is up and running I suspect I'd still spend most of my time there, but maybe some of that would be in my own booth, storytelling with my customers or writing that novel I've always dreamed of.

I remember one day, not long after I started this blog, I woke up with a hundred ideas in my head about my someday-coffeeshop.
I wrote them all out.
What the name would be and how the sign outside would look.
What kind of ingredients I'd use and what I'd name the drinks.
Where I'd locally source food and supplies.
Where the local art wall would be.
What the interior design would look like, complete with a crudely drawn layout.
I even scouted some real estate.

I can't remember if someone told me or if I read it somewhere, but they said 'If you want to be something, you should introduce yourself that way. Make your dream a reality."

Shortly after waking up with a head full of ideas and a heart sold on a someday-entrepreneurship...I ordered my business cards.

A couple of months ago, one of my favorite local shops came up for sale.
I looked into it briefly. It was affordable, had a strong brand, clientele and a great location.
But I just didn't feel like it would work. Not then.

At Influence, I had the pleasure of attending the session of Barrett Ward, founder of The Mocha Club and fashionABLE.
His session was all about finding your purpose and your passion.

He said this:
Your passion refers to gifts from God.
Your purpose refers to things God has asked you to do.

We went through a series of questions to help determine what that would be.
Questions asking about what we enjoy to do, what we lose track of time doing, what things we value the most, what we are inspired by, what we could not live without.

Some themes emerged for me:
People
Story-telling.
Giving.
Running.
People.
Story-telling.
Healthy habits.
Balance.
Empathy.
People.
Story-telling.

Notice anything?

I'm a story-teller.
Whether I'm chatting with friends over coffee or writing a blog post...I'm telling a story.
I love people.
I like hearing how they became who they are. Who they want to become. I like talking to them about what moves them and what keeps them up at night. I like seeing them happy, thriving and balanced.

 

Story-teller + Lover of all people= Future Coffee Shop Owner

I don't know when I'll own a coffee shop.
The one opportunity I had came and went. (Sidenote- the local shop I was talking about was purchased by an amazing group of people and I frequent it often. You should too- Mars Cafe.)
I'm sure there will be others.
Or maybe my love of people and story-telling will somehow morph into something else down the line and my dream of coffee entrepreneurship will never come to fruition.
Like Barrett said, 'Don't get destination sickness on any road. The process of living out your passion and purpose is ever-evolving.'

So, in the meantime, I do know this.
My God-given calling and talent is clear.
I'm a story-teller.
I'm a lover of people.
AND I'm a writer.
Every single day, I have the ability to share my story and love people right here at Even Me.

So please...
Pull up a chair.
Grab a cup of coffee.
Let's share stories.

Have you discovered your passion and purpose?

How do you share it with others?