Milkshakes Happen: Lessons in Deprivation

Today- I had an argument with myself.
About a scone.
It went something like this:

A scone sounds really good right now.
But it's a lot of bread.
Probably tons of sugar right?
And I should save it for a special occasion.
They have cranberry today? Oh- those are really good.
But 6-pack ab people don't eat scones.
I can NOT eat a scone. I've done this before.
But it sounds really good. And I worked really hard in kickboxing this morning.
Maybe I can just eat half.
F it.

I ordered the scone and got a black coffee with a splash of soy milk instead of a latte. I skipped my morning snack.
I justified it.

But why should I have to?

I try to live healthy as much as possible.
Besides blogging about running and T, healthy eating is a main topic.

I don't eat meat anymore. I hardly eat dairy. I try to eat as many green vegetables as possible and stay away from lots of breads and sweets.

I order soy sugar-free lattes.
I read nutrition labels.
I try to make sure I'm getting enough exercise.

I've gone through phases where I don't eat sugar, or cheese or bread. During my GIM challenge, I ate very restricted and amazed myself with the way I could control what I ate and the great results I saw.
I've learned that self deprivation can yield amazing results- both physically and mentally. Self deprivation has helped me quit smoking and lose a few pounds.

But sometimes I have a bad day.
Or week...
Or month...

Lent started last week. I considered giving up pastries (see how well that would have worked out?) and then decided I didn't want to use a Christian holiday to diet.
So I decided I would just tell myself no sweets for awhile. I had been munching on a lot of them lately and I need to cut back.

On Sunday I had this:

Then on Monday I had 3 pieces of pumpkin spice cake.
On Tuesday I had 4 cookies.
And today I had a big, fat delicious scone.

See a pattern here?
Self deprivation has also taught me that you can drive yourself nuts.
That the more you tell yourself you CAN'T have something, the more you think about it and crave it.
That the more rules you put in place about what you CAN'T have, the more you're going to break them.

Moderation is key.
I have weeks, even months where I eat perfect.
Then I'll have a span of days or weeks where it seems I can't get ENOUGH sweets.

But you know what? It doesn't matter.I like myself. A lot.
I may not have 6 pack abs and a rock hard body. I may never get back to my high school weight. But inside I'm healthier than I've ever been. I have visible muscles. I can run for miles. I can out lift some dudes at my gym (true story).

But I also can enjoy sharing a dessert with a friend. Or having a scrumptious pastry to start a busy work day. Or indulging in a full sugar coffee drink.
I'm not going to feel guilty about giving into my cravings occasionally.
It's all a balance.

Tonight I was feeling like I wanted a milkshake.
Even though I hardly eat 'normal' dairy products.
And it was past my 'no snacking time rule.'

So I went for a run.
And then I got a milkshake.

Because sometimes Momma just needs a milkshake.