10.17.2012

7 Things I Learned at Influence

Hey there friends.

Last week was one heck of a WOW week.

I got engaged.











I ran a marathon.

Yep- I cried.











And then I drove 8 1/2 hours with my friend Erin to Indianapolis for the Influence Conference.



I was super pumped about attending a blogging conference where I was going to learn about blog design, buttons, widgets, sponsors, ads and a host of other techy things I know nothing about.

What I was NOT prepared for is how much I would learn about Jesus.
What I would learn about the power of grace, forgiveness and  2nd chances.
What I would learn about friendships and the bonds of women.
What I would learn about myself.

As my friend Erin put it- we got a 'soul exfoliation.'

And since I love lists, especially lists of 7 things...here you go: 7 things I picked up at the conference:

1. I like hanging out with women.

Yes, I'm a woman. Do I have girlfriends I chat with? Yes. Is it like those TV slumber parties where we all throw pillows and talk about boys? Nope. Not in the least. I've always been the girl with a lot of guy friends so the idea of spending an entire weekend surrounded by 200+ women, 5 of which I would be rooming with...actually terrified me. I knew Erin from church but we hadn't spent a lot of 1:1 time together so I was also worried about that.
What would I say?
Would we run out of things to talk about in the car?
What if we end up not having a lot in common?
What if our roommates suck?
What if it's really cliquey and like high school all over again?
 
 
Turns out- none of that happened.
Erin and I talked NON-STOP from Iowa to Indiana and back again.
In fact, we connected all weekend.
 
 
We also connected with our roommates and tens of other women at the conference.
 
With our roomies, Amanda,  Erin, Adri, and Jill on the way to the Stripes party

 

With our new buddy Courtney
 
Not only did I have an amazing time, I really bonded with a new friend in a way I never expected.
 
2. Not all women bloggers are part of the 'mommy club.'
 
I'm a little embarrassed to admit this.
 
After seeing some of the posts on the facebook page for the conference I made some quick judgements that I was going to be the only single girl with no kids that also wasn't in college. And that I was going to have to listen to a lot of diaper, poop, breast-feeding talk all weekend and feel like an outsider.
 
That didn't happen either.
There were moms. And yes, there was the occasional diaper-poop-breastfeeding-kid talk, but I never ONCE felt like I was an outsider to an exclusive club.
In fact, I was honestly taken aback by how many of them wanted to know who I was, what I write about and what my life is like.
Again, here is me drudging up old insecurities about not fitting in and being completely surprised by the amazing things God does when he puts a bunch of women together.
 
3. Celebrity bloggers are just regular people with a past too.
 
I'm ALSO embarrassed to admit this.
Okay I'm surprising myself with the amount of preconceived notions I had about this whole thing.
 
As I've probably mentioned on her once or twice or 15 times, I'm a big fan of Mama Pea. I've made a lot of her recipes and posted them on here. She's sort of my blog idol.
One of the reasons I decided to come was because she was going to speak and I thought 'OMG! I could MEET HER. We could become FRIENDS!' (again- inner celebrity crush coming out).
In fact, I found out before the conference that she was coming to the morning run group and I actually posted on her facebook wall like a creepy stalker fan.
 
So fast forward to the Stripes party. I see her across the room and actually end up right next to her at least 3 times and do not say hi.
I do not know what came over me. I just felt so out of place. Like- here I am, some random girl from Iowa, who writes a blog that only gets read by a few friends- I'm not really at that level. And also, as extroverted as I may seem, it's not in my nature to just strike up conversations with people I don't really know.
I see Mama Pea 3 more times after that and still don't say hi.
Then I went to her Saturday morning Life session.
 
And I heard her story.
 
I saw her cry.
 
I saw her bare her soul to a hundred women, most of which she had never met, and who, like me, blog on the Internet and most likely would share her amazing story of grace and redemption with their readers.
 
She shared things like:
 
I was asking God for a truce, and he wanted a surrender.
I could gain the world and forfeit my soul.
In order for his kingdom to come, I had to let my kingdom go.
Finally fill my God-shaped hole with a personal relationship with Jesus.
I found a new purpose- Jesus is the filter for my life.
 
Then I sort of felt like a chump.
I was so excited about meeting Mama Pea, but I realized the person I really wanted to meet was Sarah. 
 
Sarah, the woman who discovered no amount of success or fame would ever fill her the way God's love does.
 
So I talked to her after her session.
Got a picture.
 
 
Then we chatted via Twitter.
And then before we left Saturday night I gave her a hug.
And she said 'Email me anytime.'
And I realized I didn't meet my blogging idol, I made a new friend.
 
4. It's okay to say 'no' sometimes.
 
If you've been coming to Even Me for any time at all, you probably are well aware of how much I overschedule, overplan and overstretch myself.
On Friday, I listened to John Saddington's strategy session. His theme was 'Entreprenuership and You.' There was a lot of practical business advice, but the best advice he gave was 'Yes, No.'
He said learn to say 'no' before you say 'yes.'
IF you are going to say 'yes' to something, then you have to be willing to say 'no' to something in your current pipeline.
He talked about margin versus exhaustion. That, as writers, we need to have time to have no one to report to and nothing to do and that is OKAY.
That the saying 'yes' can only come out of your margin.
 
So...this week I started something different. I scheduled time for myself.
Novel idea, right?
I decided since I love blogging so much and I'm always feeling like there isn't enough time, I'm scheduling 2 writing sessions a week for me to blog, journal, whatever. Just time for me to decompress and do something that I love to do.
 
 
Of course the minute I schedule this writing session someone asks me to do something.
and guess what, people?
I said 'I'm sorry, I have blocked off that day for some personal time. Maybe we can do something later this week?'
And it felt good.
 
 
5. No matter how extroverted you are on your blog...most writers are introverts.
 
We arrived at the conference Thursday night. They had a quick opening session, then we were headed off to the Stripes party.
You know what happens when you put a bunch of bloggers who don't know each other in a room together?
 
We stand around with the people we know or are rooming with.
It was a little like a middle school dance. Ha.
 
I read the book Quiet: The Power of Introverts a couple months ago. It talks about how introverts value personal, one on one connection and maintain high levels of empathy and sensitivity.
I found this to be so true in many of my encounters with other writers. There were a few extroverts or good 'fakers' as some of them openly admit, but most of us play our cards a little close to the chest until we feel comfortable.
 
 
 6. We are broken people. We all need to receive the Gospel everyday.
 
I heard the words 'broken people', 'grace' and 'redemption' often during the course of the weekend.
I heard so many stories of salvation through receiving God's forgiveness.
Stories I could relate to. Stories of finding peace through Jesus.
 
In her session, Jessi talked about how believing and receiving the Gospel are different things. We may have believed the Gospel years ago, but we still need to receive God's grace and redemption everyday.
 
Often, I think we forget that.
Forget that we are gonna mess up. And the only way we can 'fail well' is to learn through God's unending grace.
 
7. When you invite God into a place, he shows up.
 
The days and weeks leading up to the conference were filled with women (and men) all over the country praying.
 
Praying for guidance for our conference leaders.
Praying for safe travels for attendees.
Praying for logistics.
Praying for the speakers.
Praying for families being left at home.
Praying for tender hearts to show up and be INFLUENCED.
 
And you know what?
Those prayers were answered.
Jesus was present in the way complete strangers shared rooms, meals and hearts. 
He was present in the way new bonds were formed and old ones forged stronger.
He was present in every story, tear, hug and 'I love you.'
We asked him to hang out and he SHOWED UP.
 
 
I have so many thoughts on how I'm going to use my Influence to share Jesus with the world. I have plans for discovering my passion and purpose.
Leaving Influence was a little like when I left church camp as a kid.
High on Jesus and expectant of the future.
I hope and pray that this weekend will always be a constant reminder of what we can do when we become a force for good.
I'm grateful for the many women I met who are now blowing up my Twitter feed and inspiring me every single day.
 
God is awesome ya'll.
 
 

28 comments:

  1. Nicole I love this! So glad we were able to connect!

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    1. Thanks Amanda! I'm so glad we were roomies and got to hang out. Looking forward to keeping in touch. :)

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  2. This is probably one of my favorite blog posts of all time. I am so glad you had such a good time and some myths were debunked for you!!

    I really need to read that introverts book... I am so an extrovert online but in person I get all awkward and weird! I agree though, all bloggers seem to be that way!

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    1. I'm so glad you like it. It was definitely an experience I'll never forget and probably will continue to blog about.
      The introvert/extrovert thing was sort of funny. Like watching some kind of social experiment in action.

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  3. I loved reading you & erin's twitter while you were at this! I'm glad it was such a great time for you both. (Side note: I loved "Quiet" as well. Go introverts!)

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    1. Liz- I MISS YOU!!!
      I'm glad you loved our twitter and Quiet! That book sort of changed my life. I'm learning that I really like non-fiction...more than I thought. Especially if it's about any psychology stuff (I also LOVED Habits. I had to buy it so I could mark it up after I borrowed from Jeremy H).

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  4. This made me teary eyed. I'm so glad you had these experiences. I'm still processing Influence in my life, but you summed it up so perfectly.

    Also, I totally had a fb, starstruck moment too. Glad I wasn't the only one :D.

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    1. Brittany- you have the sweetest heart. I was amazed at your courage when you got up in front of the Life panel. I'm sorry we didn't get to talk more face to face- I think we probably have a lot in common. Let's keep in touch. :)

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  5. Nicole! So.much.truth. It was great meeting you and spending "soul spa time" with you. XO

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    1. I love 'soul spa time.' I think next year we could come up with some great taglines and t-shirts for this Influence experience. :)
      XO

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  6. Precious post Nicole...so great to meet you! I think you're adorable.

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    1. You are the sweetest! I loved meeting you as well! It was a great lunch table on Friday. :)

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  7. this is a fabulous recap post! i wish we had met at the conference. you were definitely NOT the only single girl without kids and not in college!

    i felt the same way you did about meeting Sarah. I met a few of my favorite bloggers who, in their circles, are kind of like celebrities. and they were just real people. i think that made meeting them so much better, realizing they were real people and not just the vision i had of them in my head.

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    1. We should have had our own organic meet up! 'Random single or dating girls with no kids that are not college age'...HA.
      YES! I had so many 'ideas' about what I thought the conference would be like and they were all wrong.
      BTW- love your blog!

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  8. I am so grateful. So, so grateful and teary right now. As glad as I am that you got to know me (really me!), I'm equally glad that I got to know you. Definitely, definitely made a friend. Thank you for hearing my heart for Him through it all and for sharing yours.

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    1. You, my friend, have a way with words and speech that is so real and raw. I'm not the only one who was touched and amazed by your story. I'm excited about our friendship! I'm also grateful to know such a genuine heart. :)

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  9. Loved this post too, Nicole. So happy for you. And so glad I got to meet you this weekend!
    I cry after most of my races too. Something very emotional about it. =)

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    1. Bernadette- I hope next time I'm not all marathon sore and we can run a little more together! I got my legs back this week. :)
      I'm glad to have met you too. Thanks for your kind words.

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  10. Love this! So glad I got to meet you and chat at lunch.

    (Hurray for introverts--and for Quiet!)

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    1. I still have to write about your session! So much I learned! Chatting at lunch was great.
      Will the hubs be available for consulting when I open my coffee shop? :)

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  11. Great post! Totally loved everything you said! :) I'm so glad we got to meet!

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    1. Lyndsay- I'm excited to hear about how your new adventure progresses! So great to meet you. :)

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  12. I loved reading about your experience!!

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    1. Thank you! It was an amazing thing being surrounded by 200+ women who love Jesus. Powerful stuff!

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  13. i loved meeting and eating with you on friday at lunch. so cool that your week was started and finished with such amazing things for you to reflect upon. i am inspired by your health, and can't wait to read more on this here place of yours. thanks for sharing your heart. God was present in us introverts that were trying to be extroverts. :) amazing words here too. i love lists like this!

    take care
    barbie f.

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    1. I'm a list JUNKIE. I make lists just so I can cross stuff off. HA.
      It was a whirlwind week and now I'm just soaking it all in figuring out what is next. :)
      It was great meeting and chatting with you and I'm glad we can keep in touch online. Take care friend!

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  14. Love this!So glad I got to meet you!! I look forward to all our running endeavors! Yay!

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    1. yes!! cross country running buddies. :)

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